Being a teen means having hormonal changes that create emotional struggles. These emotions clutter their judgment and prevent them from seeing the adults in their life as resources.
Teens, like many adults, have many things in their life they would like to change. They are in a transition period between childhood to adulthood which causes a lot of confusion.
You can see it like the process of a caterpillar transforming into a beautiful butterfly. There are physical and emotional changes.
They want to change many things, but they don't know-how.
If there is a lack of guidance and support, they start to feel stuck and frustrated with what they are allowed or not allowed to do, lack of resources, peer pressure, demanding school system, feeling misunderstood by their parents, unheard, and so on.
They start to doubt their abilities and reduce their potential from following their dreams and thrive to survive in an unforgiving world.
Our default brain is designed to resist change. It's a primal feature that was meant to protect us from the dangers of the unknown. That was when humans lived in the wild.
Today's reality is very different and most changes have no real danger within them. Yet, our brains resist any change, even if it is a good change.
For people to change, they need to overcome the inner voices that hold them back, they need to find their strengths and use them to overcome challenges. This is a hard task for adults and moreover for teens.
Most teens have yet to explore their strengths. On top of that, they are in an education system that supports "one solution fits all" which causes them to feel like a failure in many areas.
They take failing an exam very personally and use it to reflect on their abilities.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Albert Einstein
The education system judges students in an unfair way, causing them to doubt their abilities.
It is known that in the business world, failing is an integral part of success. In schools, however, failing means punishment, and that the student is not good enough to pass.
From the student’s point of view, it means “I’m too stupid to pass this test, what’s the point in even trying?” “Hack, I’m not good enough with science, why bother with other subjects?”
At this age, when they construct their character and their view of the world, they create a distorted image of themselves due to an outdated environment that doesn't support their needs.
It’s like giving them an outdated map of the city and telling them to find their way using this map. They are sure to get lost. Today we have the technology to provide them with GPS to guide them easily and safely to their destination.
Most teens feel that they are judged by everybody, their teachers, peers, and parents.
There are generation gaps that add confusion to the mix.
Only when teens build trust with adults after knowing there is no judgment, they start to open up and dare to ask for help. They become more confident and the process of change can begin.
Teens feel as if they have lost control and they follow life to wherever it flows. They don’t believe in their ability to change.
Commonly, teens end up in groups that make them feel powerful. These groups may be destructive to their future and may not align with their core values.
Since these groups, which more often than not encourage aggressive behavior, occur in schools, the parents are not aware of the paths their child chose, until it is too late.
The way they construct their view of the world today will stay with them for the rest of their lives. Unless they get the right guidance and encouragement.
The Elephant & The Rope
The elephant and the rope story may help to clarify the situation.
One day, a boy went to the circus with his father and saw a huge elephant tied to a tiny stake with a rope.
“Daddy”, asked the boy, “This Elephant is so big and strong and the stake is so small and weak, he could set himself free just by taking two steps back.
Why doesn’t he do it?”
His father said, “My son, when this elephant was very small, he did try to break away from this stake, but he wasn’t strong enough.”
“He tried and tried for weeks, until he finally gave up, believing that it is impossible to break free. Now, he doesn’t try anymore, because he doesn’t believe it’s possible.”
“Humans are the same, my son. Many things happen to us in childhood, which we try to change, but then stop trying. Many of us are still tied with ropes to tiny stakes, just like this big elephant”.
During adolescence, things get so hard that many teens give up. Their world quickly becomes a mixture of confused thoughts and emotions that leads to stress and depression. They face conflicting expectations from their parents, teachers, friends, and social media.
On top of all that, they feel that they are alone, no one understands them.
Like the elephant, they start to give in to the circumstances and accept a mediocre life that takes away their happiness. They accept their disappointing "destiny" and stop trying to change it.
The Quest For Happiness
By learning important life skills at an early age, the teen's transition to adulthood can become much smoother and less painful for them and their parents.Most people (teens and adults) believe that their happiness can be found out there by gaining money, having a successful career, or having amazing relationships.
Even though all of the above contribute to happiness, they are not the source of it.
Happiness is a decision, not something you can find somewhere, out there.
Happiness comes from having positive thoughts and emotions more often than negative ones.
Because teens don't know how to deal with the situations they are getting into, they tend to blame others for their problems; teachers, friends, parents, bad luck, the systems, and so on.
With good guidance and plenty of encouragement, they can gather confidence, determination, and take responsibility for their future.
Let’s face it, most teen’s problems are with themselves and only later create problems with others.
A life coach is someone who helps them understand themselves and establish good relationships with themselves and with others.
The coach helps the teens see the world from different perspectives that allow them to respond to challenges with a clear-headed mindset, rather than react to them from an impulse.
The coach will be in contact with your teen between sessions, encourage them to practice their new tools, and empower them to take small steps toward the achievement and success of their goals.
Coaching is not one-session magic; it's a process that takes time and effort to break through barriers and see results.
Keep in mind that coaching is not for everyone. It is suitable only for teens that want to achieve something and can look forward to it.
They must want to be coached and cannot be pushed into it. If your teen is not ready for coaching, it is better to wait until he or she is.
According to the Positive Intelligence (PQ) research; as kids, we learn from our environment and the people around us how to navigate through life.
We develop thought patterns and behaviors. These thoughts and behaviors were useful in childhood but they are holding us back as we grow up.
Even when we adjust our behaviors to fit the ever-changing environment and expectations, our thought patterns seem to stay the same.
Without proper guidance, the teen is suffering from negative thoughts (inner voices) that do not serve them and even cause damage.
It is like using an old map to find the way in a city. The new buildings were constructed, new roads were paved and some old places were destroyed. The old map is more harmful than useful.
The coach provides them a GPS with automatic updates. It allows them to update their beliefs, thinking patterns, and behaviors to fit whatever environment they are in.
With the GPS by their side, they are more confident, responsible, and happy. They can move forward without worries and fears that they might get lost.
One of the core ingredients of the Life Skills Academy is Positive Intelligence (PQ). The research was conducted in more than 50 countries and with more than 500,000 participants. It is based on Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Performance Science, and Cognitive Psychology.
Life Skills Academy focuses on the present to move to the future, the past is not important because your teen will detach him/herself from anything that stands in their way.
Life Skills Academy is not a place to fix teens. They do not need fixing, they are not broken.
We Build a Supportive Community
They need guidance, confidence, and empowerment. Therefore, we love to stay in touch with our growing community and support them throughout their life.Life-long learning is a process that stretches through a lifetime of experiences.
1-on-1 Coaching for teens and adults is available at any time to support our community whenever they need it.
What Will My Teen Get from Life Skills Academy?
Even though different people have different goals and therefore, different results. One thing is sure, anyone who joins the program will change.The benefits have a lifelong impact on the participants and the people around them.
Some Common Changes:
* Change from being a victim to being a leader* Change from avoiding things to taking responsibility
* Change from being “lazy” to taking action
* Change in the way they handle conflicts and relationships
* Change from being stressed and depressed to being driven and motivated
* Change from being confused and overwhelmed to finding clarity and being intentional
* Change in the way they approach failure as a problem and a setback to failure as a stepping stone to success
* Change from feeling not good enough to be happy and fulfilled with their achievements
Some Common Benefits:
* Stronger self-confidence* A great sense of achievement
* A positive outlook on life
* Appreciation for the change process, not just the outcome
* Improved focus
* Higher energy
* Better relationships
* Good time management skills
* A better understanding of themselves and their feelings
* Useful techniques for managing emotions
* Reduced stress
* Increased happiness
* Invest time in personal development
* Better relationships with family and friends
* Self-motivation
* Resilient to challenges
Learn more about the Life Skills Academy